Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Operation Purity has been aborted
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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