so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
