Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
