you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
