He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
