He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i think i have two assholes
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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