my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
