if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
