My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize