Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Your penis caused this!
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