Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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