Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
