if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
