5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
