no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
