i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
