ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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