And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
