whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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