What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
