I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize