just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
