capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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