Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
