I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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