Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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