Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
