I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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