i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This is my gift to your gina
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
