She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
