Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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