why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
