I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
