I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
