I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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