don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
