Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
