Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
