just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Found the puke drawer
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
