Can Purell be used as lube?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
