You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
