I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm jealous of your bromance
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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