I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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