ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
