dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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