Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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