This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
