I CAN MOONWALK!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
