im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
