He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
