Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
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