Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
