i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
that may or may not have been my penis.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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