Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
