Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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