Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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