So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
