No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
