So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
