a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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