careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
