that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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