woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
well you can't waste a boner
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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