Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
