I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
whose ass print is on the piano?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
