Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
