I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
