I think I died a long time ago.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
