At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The power of my boobs compel you
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
