those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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