So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
