When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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