Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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