mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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