wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
