apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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